Even before the creation of the “Hangover” movie series, groomsmen everywhere have thought that they only need to fulfill 3 main requirements; get the bachelor party going, get the groom to the wedding on time, or get the groom up outta the church if he suddenly decides to bail on the nuptials. The reality is that the role of groomsman is much more than being an accessory to the groom on the wedding day. You’ve got work to do fellas. At least if you want to be a good groomsman. If you want to be trash, then do nothing. But that’s gonna be on you bro. You might be saying, yo Suitabull, “I thought that being selected as a groomsman just means y’all trying to hook me up with whomever i walk with, and she better be fine.” Ehhh not entirely, “my guy.” According to Wikipedia, “A groomsman attends the bridegroom at a wedding. Additionally, the groom may request other kinds of assistance, such as planning celebratory events, like a bachelor party, also called a stag-do or buck's night; helping make the wedding pleasant for guests by talking with people who are alone or dancing with unaccompanied guests or bridesmaids, if there is dancing at a wedding reception; or providing practical assistance with gifts, luggage, or unexpected complications. Groomsmen may also participate in local or regional traditions, such as decorating the newlywed couple's car.” So, much more than just standing next to the groom.” At my own wedding my groomsmen came through for me, helped me deliver and setup centerpieces at the reception hall, made sure I ate and helped me get dressed. Now that you know the basics, let’s get into some of what you should be doing as a good groomsman, or what you should expect of your groomsmen if you are the bridegroom.
Gut Check
And nope, don’t mean punching the groom in the stomach because he’s hangin’ up his playboy jersey for good. Check on your boy to make sure “he good.” He may be having doubts, fears, or just stressed out from the 150 decisions that he and his fiancee have had to make, or listen to his fiancee stress over the past few weeks and months. And if he’s in a negative place, listen to him and help him get back to a positive frame of mind. If she’s a good girl, let him know he’s doing the right thing. If you see this as being an epic fail, hopefully you’ve spoken your piece before this point, so just support him anyway. He’s a big boy.
Anticipate Needs
If you’ve either been a groomsman in the past, or a groom, you know what time it is. On my wedding day, I didn’t remember to eat breakfast, needed some manual labor and needed some hype men. My groomsmen were all of those things for me and so much more. In my own experiences as a groomsman, I’ve helped plan the tuxedos, lint roll the groom’s tux, tie neck ties, iron shirts and I’ve even driven the bride to the church. I’ve always tried to look out for the groom in the same way that I would want to be looked after.
Bumrush Wedding Disrupters
If you grew up in the 80’s and 90’s like me you’ve probably watched plenty of shows where the star bride is at the wedding alter, then an ex-boyfriend crashes the “speak now of forever hold your peace.” Right? One that comes to my mind is that episode of the show “A different world“ where Dwayne Wayne crashes in scoops up Whitley Gilbert from that whack dude. I mean one could argue that a situation like that happened because the bride wasn’t really feeling the groom, but I partially blame them groomsmen. If they were some real ones they would put in that work to make sure stuff like that doesn’t happen. A real one, would’ve mopped the floor with the wife stealer and that’s what you need to do as a groomsman. By any means necessary make sure that no ex boyfriends or anybody come in and mess up your boy’s day.
Food Runs
I know I talked about my experience and how my boys held me down, by getting me breakfast when that was the last thing on my mind but there’s some other parts of the day when you may forget to take a bite. For example one of my friend, who will remain nameless got hungry close to his afternoon wedding, so one of his groomsmen ran out and got him some Popeye’s chicken. I have real life proof of him eating Popeye’s chicken just before you walk down the aisle. True story! So you’ve got to be ready whenever and wherever to go on a food run for the groom. Don’t forget about the reception. Even though the wedding couple has paid all that money for 5 kinds of meats and 30 desserts, it’s not uncommon for them to be so caught up in the moment that they forget to eat. So check on your boy make sure that he and his bride ate. Make sure that he enjoys that open bar too.
Make Sure He’s Camera Ready
At any course during the wedding day the groom is bound to get a little bit disheveled because he’s being pulled in a million directions; pictures here, hugs their, kisses there. You’ll need to be on point to help fix his tie, straighten his jacket and make sure he looks good for those pictures. When the groom looks back at those pics years from now, you don’t want him asking how all 7 of his groomsmen left him for dead with lopsided bowtie or that toilet paper hanging out his pants. So I don’t care if you have to chase him with a lint roller, or fix his tie every time he moves, do whatever it takes make sure he looks good.
In the Clutch
One of the dopest things that I’ve ever seen, happened recently, when the bride and groom were saying their vows. The bride started to cry as per usual, but she didn’t have anything to wipe her tears with. So without missing a beat one of the groomsmen that was standing next to the groom, pulled out his own handkerchief and gave it to the groom to hand to the bride. It was amazing! If that ain’t the save of the day, i don’t know what is. There hasn’t been a save that big, since Harper talked Lance back into marrying Mia (forget about the fact that he was the reason why the wedding was about to get cancelled anyway). Watch the movie “The Best Man” for context. You’ll see a few things that you should never do as friend, let alone a best man.. I digress. The handkerchief move, represents the true spirit of what a groomsman does. And because your boy and his wife are becoming one what you do for her you also do for him and vice versa.
Look Your Best
Whether you’ve gone off the rack from your local tuxedo shop or full custom, make sure that you’re looking good too. When you all look good he looks good and everyone knows that the best accessory to a well dressed groom are a team of well-dressed groomsmen. So make sure your tuxedo is tailored well, especially your pants hem. No baggy look, unless you’re going for that 90s retro look which I doubt you probably are. And make sure you don’t stress the groom out in that process. Be responsive get your clothes on time and make sure that you actually pick them up before the wedding.
Party Up
I have been in my fair share of weddings. What I will say is that I’ve had the most fun being in wedding parties where I’ve known most of the guys for a very long time. You know your ups and all your downs, you defeats and your victories. You even know about those crazy parties you guys used to go to and all the all the girls that you guys used to… Never mind. So when you get on the dance floor and that beat drops for “I Just Wanna Love U” by Jay-Z, let it all out on the dance floor. In one situation, me and my guys lost our minds when we heard the state property song what we do. It immediately reminded us of the early 2000s during our single party days. The groomsmen were definitely reppin’ the hardest. Maybe a little too hard, because we scared a few people off the dance floor. They say that music is the soundtrack to our life so when that beat drops, celebrate life!
I’m hoping that you’ve figured out by now that being a groomsman ain’t about you it’s about the groom and the bride. Yup the bride too. So put your personal pride aside think of how you can decrease the groom’s stress level and be supportive to him. The better you know the groom the more support you can be. But even if you’ve only known each other for a few years, you can still be useful, just by putting him first and by implementing these tips. If you do that, you’ll have the winning recipe to be “the Ultimate Groomsman”
Stay Suitabull guys.
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