Zoom video calls have unfortunately allowed otherwise professional people, to drop their guard faster than Floyd Mayweather in the 12th round. Most recently, lubin’ Toobin’ took himself on a scavenger hunt to find “Mr. Happy” while on a Zoom call of his own. In the penal code (no pun intended) of Zoom offenses, this would be considered a felony. However, there are a few other misdemeanors that you should stay away from. Ten to be exact.
I. Don’t Mix Business with Pleasure
For those that don’t know, the epitome of mixing business with pleasure, happened when Jeff “lubin’” Toobin, got caught with is pants down (literally). While this reporter was on a Zoom call, he got too comfortable and decided to pleasure himself. I’ll say in this instance, he broke about 3 Zoom commandments; mixing business and pleasure, keeping your line unmuted, inappropriate video background. I’m not judging anyone that wants to wrestle the one-eyed monster on their own time, but please spare the rest of us and don’t mix business with pleasure. It can carry much stiffer penalties that short circuiting your keyboard.
II. Wake up
As easy as this sounds, I still see tale signs everyday that someone on a Zoom call, made a B-line from the bed to the brainstorm session. They need to take a page out of the Notorious BIG’s book and “wipe the coal out the eye.” Loosely translated, the only boogers you’re allowed to pick are the eye boogers, so I suggest doing that before hopping on a video call. And while you’re at it, cant hurt to brush and rinse your teeth and mouth. When you “freshen up,” it helps out to be on your “A-game” visually and psychologically. Besides, if you’re not careful that smell of last night’s steak and onions might be viscous enough to melt the camera on your ipad.
III. Grooming
Admittedly when the Coronavirus first hit, the best I could do was give myself a shape-up and a facial hair trim. After Week #5, I got tired of wearing hats to hide the baby fro that I was growing. Thanks to YouTube, I taught myself how to cut my own hair. A Taper Fade at that!! That famous game, “Who can go the longest without grooming my facial hair” was cool for a while, but after week 26, I think we get it that you can grow a 26-inch beard. Let it go. YouTube is the new Encyclopedia Britannica; so with this newfound time at home, take it upon yourself to learn how to trim those beards. I’ve got no problems with the card-carrying members of the Beard gang, but keep it right and keep it tight.
IV. Know Your Audience and Dress Accordingly
Meetings from the home are more forgiving when it comes to dress code. No one expects you to wear a 3-piece suit on your Monday morning team check-in call. However the same basic rules apply, pertaining to levels of appropriateness. In a time when most are wearing T-shirts that look like Swiss cheese, just ironing your shirt would be a “come up.” Think of these 3 scenarios when dressing for your next call.
i. All Occasions—Casual Button up shirt or light sweater
ii. Casual Meetings—Long sleeve, non-graphic Henley t-shirt or short sleeve button up shirt.
iii. Professional Meeting—Button up shirt (semi-formal). The shirt can either be worn alone, with a vest/waistcoat, sweater, or sports coat.
V. Wear Pants
Not to be confused with commandment number one. This applies even if both hands remain on the keyboard. Most folks only get half dressed because the camera mainly focuses on the shoulders and upward. However, at the slightest chance that you need to get up to close the door, you’d hate to show off the LA Lakers basketball shorts that you’re sporting to go with that button up shirt on top. Instead, try to compliment the bottom with the top. Jeans for casual, cotton or wool slacks for professional meetings would work best.
VI. Keep Your Phone on Mute
This one is simple. The mute button is the one that looks like a microphone. When you’re not speaking; press it. No one needs to hear the dog, the kids, the landscaper or your significant other, in the background. Your colleagues will thank you for it.
VII. Zoom Backgrounds
This is an area that could be fun. My virtual meetings inspired me to remodel my home office and make for a more appealing background. De-clutter your space and remove any large items that would distract participants, while you’re speaking. If all else fails, find a nice blank wall to post up in front of, for your Zoom calls. Unless your meeting feels like a never-ending black hole, I would stay away from the Outer space background! I once used a picture that I took at the office of my empty seat, with my neighbor in the background. Everyone loved it!
VIII. Find a Safe Space (away from the kids and the dog).
For the folks staying in the apartment with others, or full house with no corner to hide in, I know it’s tough. But I’ve got your back. I have the luxury of having a dedicated office in my house and I close the door every chance I get, to block out noise. If you struggling with finding privacy in close quarters, try stepping outside, or in the car. Hopefully Wi-Fi reaches that far. If not, grab yourself a Wi-Fi extender. When all else fails, see commandment number 7. MUTE when you’re not speaking!
IX. The invisible man
There are a few shy ones among us, whom you’d think were in witness protection, if it weren’t for their name showing on the screen. No video feed, and no picture, so if you don’t know this person, you really will never know who they are. If you’re going to have your camera off, at least use a profile picture to display while you’re speaking. It helps for when someone has a direct question for you.
X. Eye Contact
This is just as important as when attending an in-person meeting. If you’re looking down at your phone, we see you. When you roll your eyes, we see you, when you leave your seat to go drop a deuce, we see you. Well, you know what I mean. Maintain eye contact and stay engaged, it’s the right thing to do. If you do need to step away, make sure you turn off your camera and have a profile picture up.
Coronavirus will be around for a while, which means that many of us will be working from home and using Zoom for the foreseeable future. If you follow these easy ten steps, you’ll maximize your video call experience and everyone else’s!
Stay SUITABULL guys.