States are reopening and if you’re like me, you’ve got two fingers on the blinds, peeking out the window to see what’s going to happen to the first few explorers in a post-pandemic world. However, if you’ve been binge watching old episodes of “Fear Factor” and you’re feeling risky enough to venture out, then there are a few places that you need to have on your list to visit as you hit the streets. In places like Florida, everything’s open, but in newly re-opened states like New York, you’re working with a short list, but thankfully they are places that you need to be.
Barber shop— During this time, I’ve taken the opportunity to take a master class (I watched YouTube) on how to give myself a taper fade. It took a while, but in the end it enabled me to look civilized on the numerous daily Zoom calls that I’ve had. However, for those of you that wouldn’t trust yourself with a pair of scissor or clippers to cut your dog’s fur, by now, you’ve channeled your inner teen wolf and have forgone the option to shave or shape up your hair. You think you look like Billy D Williams from Star Wars, but you look more like Chubakka. It’s time.. head to the barbershop and get that fro fixed, those locks re-twisted, those sideburns shaped, or that mustache manicured. Make an appointment, as I’m sure that the line will be around the block, of mountain man look-alikes, waiting to get their unibrows re-separated. So make sure you hit the barber and get that taken care of. And if you have any doubts, remember “even a Caveman can do it.”
Back to Work—With Coronavirus numbers down, the only thing making the lives of essential workers even harder, is the traffic caused by hundreds of thousands of others returning to work. Now that you’re joining the masses in that commute back to the office. It’s time to hang up that collection of soup stained WWE T-shirts and basketball shorts that you’ve been wearing on your Zoom calls. That’s right, it’s time to start dressing like a grown up again. The good news is that summer is just about here, so you’ve got a reason to get a little more casual than usual. Reach for those button up shirts, blazers, cotton slacks, and loafers and you’re back in business. And oh yeah, don’t forget your mask and gloves.
Outdoor Dining—The benefit of “dining in” for 3 months is that you could forego the 20% gratuity. With that extra cash, you could double up on “guac” and nachos with your meal. During your dine-in date nights If you’ve kept up with some of the previous SUITABULL posts, then you’ve been putting in the effort to dress up for date night at home with your mate. Dining outside of the house should be no different. It’s actually better because you have a larger audience now, your date, the restaurant patrons, and passers by. So don’t be afraid to show out, and since this is your first time back out in civilization, I encourage you to still splurge on the extra “guac” and chips, even if you do have to pay that 20% gratuity.
Beach—Nothing says summertime like the beach, and while at some, the only item that some patrons will be wearing is a mask. Here in NY, we require proper beach attire. In my post Poolside Properhttps://www.suitabull.com/single-post/2019/07/26/Poolside-Proper I talk about the 3 types of folks, The Swimmers, The Wet Ankles, and those that are Just Chillin', categorized in order of least clothes to most clothes. If you’re a swimmer, make sure you swim trunks game is on point. Also, hopefully you spent some of your quarantine time building up your revenge body. Revenge body you ask? Yes, revenge on Corona for locking you down so long. In any case whether you’ve achieved bulging bicep status, or just have a bulging body, don’t’ be afraid to get into those trunks and strut your stuff with confidence. If you’re a wet ankle type of dude, you might be able to keep the T-shirt on to hide your bodacious bulge. If you’re in the just chillin’ category, and plan on spending your Corona coins at the beach bar all day, then get those seersucker shorts and polo shirts ready and don’t forget your fedora.
Antibody Testing—At one point during the pandemic, testing kits were as rare as seeing the Easter Bunny and Santa Clause drinking shots at Fat Tuesdays in Miami. Not anymore. So now is as good a time as any to get yourself tested for antibodies. Not only will you be able to see whether you’ve been previously exposed, but you’ll also have the opportunity to help someone, by donating your plasma, to assist in the treatment of the Coronavirus. Nothing is more SUITABULL than doing the right thing and saving someone’s life. So get out to your closest test site (may offer free testing at local churches), and get tested.
Court—A national pandemic is the perfect excuse to postpone payment for your parking mishaps. As a matter of fact, the pandemic is probably the reason why you haven’t gotten any additional tickets! Court’s are reopening with social distance guidelines in effect, so get those tickets taken care of. Whether your meter ran out, or you ran a stop sign, show up in a suit, an handle your business.
Protesting—I would be remiss if I didn’t mention my disgust for the current racial injustice in our country. Even before the country reopening, I would have backed heading out for peaceful protest. As “outside” has opened up, so have more hearts, to the idea that black lives do matter. Many from all walks of life have come out in support of the cause. Whether they are sick of being inside, “sick and tired of being sick and tired”, or both, men, women and children are out here. There was even a report of a group of well-dressed men who led a peaceful protest of their own in support of the cause. They happened to be part of an organization name “100 Black Men.” The purpose was to help portray black men in positive light. I’m not suggesting that you need to go out and protest in your Sunday’s best, but if dressing to the nines, while fighting for your rights, ain't SUITABULL, I don’t know what is!
Retail Shopping—Finally, we’re past the time where the only thing you could go out and buy was produce from the supermarket, take-out from the Cheesecake Factory and lumber from Lowes Home Improvement Store. You can window shop and try on clothes to your hearts desire. Although the malls are not yet open, you can peruse the stores that are available, to update you’re wardrobe. Based on how much weight you’ve lost or gain, the expense may be justified.
Drive In Movie—This one’s easy, dress like you’re going outdoor dining, but take the Zoom meeting approach and only dress your top half since that’s all anyone can see through your driver side window. Just kidding! At SUITABULL, we go hard or go home,” so come out fully dressed!
The Doctor—Virtual appointments are all the craze now, but nothing says I’m healthy like giving urine samples and being asked to turn and cough. Get to your doctor. Again, depending on how much weight you may have gained, your life may depend on it!
Gents, the time that everyone has dreamed about is here. Coronavirus cases are down, and everyone’s desire to get out the house is up. Even though we don’t have a cure, a vaccine or the common grasp on all the ways that Coronavirus could be passed, we are starting to get back to “normal.” As you hit the streets and visit the places from the list above, keep sane, keep safe and as always..
Stay SUITABULL guys.