Maybe “life” kicked your butt in 2019 (or the entire last decade) and left you in the fetal position, ready to give up. The good news is that you’re still alive and able to do something about it. It’s time for you to get up and give “life” a roundhouse kick to the face and take back your control. How do you do that, SUITABULL? I’m glad you asked! Contrary to popular belief, most change starts from within, so what better way to achieve an attitude refresh, than to prop up your self-confidence. For the New Year (and decade), give up the resolutions and instead take up some actionable steps to get you from “mehhh” to mighty.
Positive Self-Affirmations
Whose voice do you hear the most, throughout your day? If you answered “my wife” or “my therapist,” unfortunately you’re wrong. It’s YOU! You hear yourself out loud and in your thoughts; ALL DAY, EVERY DAY, which means if you’re filling your head with trash thoughts, you will become trash. However, if you firmly ground yourself in positive self-affirmation, then your life will start to shift in unimaginable ways. Starting off with simple phrases like “I’m great,” “Let’s go” or “I'm killing it”, can be the push that you need to start your day right or finish strong! If you can’t think of anything nice to say to yourself then look for a good resource. Mine is the Bible, and one verse that comes to mind is “I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me” among many others.
Don’t Compare, Stay In Your Lane
Social media is a gift and a curse. It makes the world feel a little smaller because it keeps you connected with more people than physically capable. Unfortunately, you’re connected to the fake version of most people; the version that shows point A and Point Z and none of the struggle in between. The version that shows all of your “friends” doing better because they lost weight quicker than you (because of depression), have a fancier car than you (because they share a 1 bedroom apartment with 6 people) and traveled to Dubai, Thailand and Italy in 1 Year (because they ate Ramen noodles everyday for 6 months to save money). Maybe you’re not on social media and you’re comparing yourself at your job. Your friends in your peer group are being promoted within their careers but you’re stagnant. Or you’ve been a groomsman 7 times, but never a groom. The moral of the story is DON’T COMPARE! Whether good or bad, you never know what lies beneath someone’s success. Focus on yourself and being the best version of you. By comparing yourself, jealously rears it’s ugly head and we all know jealousy is the step-brother of hateration. Hating on someone else take energy away from making yourself better. So put that energy to good use!
Dress The Part
if you’ve read my post on Style Therapy, then you already know what I’m about to say. Dress how you want to feel. Dress...with purpose! Take pride in how your look and not only will you start to garner positive energy, but old ladies will stop clutching their purse when you walk by. To dress the part, remember these key points:
Groom your hair both on your head and on your fact.
Moisturize and keep yourself smelling good.
Wear clean clothes (yes I actually have to say this).
Brighten your clothing color palette from darker tones to more vibrant colors. I’m not saying to walk around looking like Ronald McDonald but liven up a bit and it’s sure to change your attitude.
If you’re going to work, dress sharp. Going to the store, be on point. Going to run some errands… You get the point. Dress with purpose!
Glass Half Full
Keep a list of your accomplishments. Unfortunately we tend to focus on the negative more than the positive. It’s so easy to remember that you didn’t make that power career move like you wanted to last year, but in the same breath forget that you generated income through some side hustles that overcompensated for that. Since they’re so easy to forget, it works best to document your accomplishments on a daily basis. But before that, you should develop some goals, so you have an idea of what an accomplishment looks like to you. Your accomplishment may not be the same as your spouse’s or even your twin sibling’s, but that won’t matter if you keep it true to who you are. Set your goals, document your accomplishments, and celebrate them.
Get Some Sun/Get Some, Son
Doctors often say that getting some Vitamin D from the sun puts us in a better mood. And there’s a reason, Vitamin D is said to provide the body with energy. The more energetic you feel, the more inclined you are to make moves. On the contrary, most that go through depression often lack energy. Not only for the complex physiological and emotional reasons, but also because most who are depressed, confine themselves to dark or dimly lit homes or rooms (no sun). Admittedly, summer is my favorite time of year, where the daylight outlasts the darkness, which probably contributes to a slight mood change in the fall and winter season.
On the note of get you some, son... yup by “some” I’m talking about sex. Get you some sex, son! Sex is linked to lowering blood pressure, lowering heart attack risk, improves sleep, may improve prostate health, burn calories and relieve stress among many other things. Need I say more?! Get you “some”, son!
Pray/Meditate
Nothing centers me more than spending time with the Big man upstairs, God. For me, daily prayer and devotional are essential to starting my day right! The good book (the Bible) says 7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” Matthew 7:7-8
So I do just that. Knowing that I’m reassured that anything I ask for, can and will be mine, as long as it’s in God’s will, is power like nothing else! Going into the world with that kind of confidence can yield anyone great results! I also use the opportunity to thank God for the great things happening in my life and even some of the challenges. I ask Him for the capacity to be the best version of myself! I implore you to do the same. This world and this one life that we get is so much bigger than us, It’s about getting in alignment with your higher power, so you can be used for a greater purpose than you can even imagine!
Say No to “Yes Men”
if you’re not careful, “Yes men” can be the battery in your back that you need, to walk off a cliff. Why? Because they always Yes you to death, they never tell you where you need improvement, where you may be wrong, or warn you about any potential blind spots. Their sole purpose is NOT to piss you off, so they NEVER challenge you. Without a challenge, you never grow. I’m not implying that your friend or associate should be a jerk, but in order to grow, you need some people around you to keep it 💯 with you. Through correction, comes greatness, so don’t be afraid to have a couple of real ones around you.
Navigate Naysayers
Even worse than “yes men” are naysayers. These are dubbed as “Dream Killers.” Steer clear of naysayers when choosing your inner circle. This bunch goes way beyond keeping it real, they keep it real, negative. You do need people who keep it real with you, but can also see your potential to achieve greatness. You can tell a naysayer by the way they respond to tour dreams and aspirations. If their first response is to tell you all the reasons why you shouldn’t do something, why it can’t work, and how it’s never been done before, then that’s the epitome of a naysayer. Naysayers operating in fear and if you’re not careful, they will make you too scared to take the leap of faith necessary to walk in your destiny.
The AMEN 🙌🏾 Corner
-whenever a guest preacher visits my church, he brings an “AMEN Corner.” The “AMEN Corner” is comprised of friends and/or family of the guest preacher or members from his/her home church that support the preacher to wherever he’s preaching. And in the slight chance that the message being preached doesn’t hit, and the crowd ain’t into it, he or she at least has some friendly faces that will cheer them on regardless with an “AMEN!” The rest of us require the same! We need an “AMEN Corner;” a group of people cheering us on, encouraging us, lifting us up when we’re down and supporting us, so we can propel to the next level. Now, don’t mistake the “AMEN corner” for “Yes men.” The “AMEN Corner” or cheerleaders see what strangers or naysayers may not see. They look for the positive in what you’re doing and celebrate that, while you and everyone else around are honed in on your failures. Your “AMEN Corner” should consist of your family, friends, significant other or even an avid observer of your journey. Whoever they are, hopefully you’ll be able to identify them quickly, because they will be the ones who believe in you and your journey even on days when you struggle to believe In it yourself!
Trust the Process
When in doubt, trust the process. Nothing stays the same forever. Just as Stock markets rally 📈and crash 📉, so does life. Some days are good, while others are terrible, but you’ve got to know that the Big guy upstairs is working everything out that happens to us for our own good! The universe conspires on our behalf for good things to happen, we just need to realize it and seize it. Learn from every mistake, fumble and hardship so that you can come back bigger, better, stronger and wiser, to kill it in the next season.
Guess what? This IS your next season. You ARE awesome! You ARE worthy! You ARE everything successful that you’ve ever imagined! If you believe that, and put in the work, and look sharp while doing it, you’ll be unstoppable 🙅♂️! I’ll see you at the top.
Stay SUITABULL guys.